Time Change Blues: Waiting on God’s Timing

Am I the only one struggling with the time change this week? I mean, when I realized it was time to leave my house Monday, I was still in my PJ’s! (Whoops)

For as much as I dislike time change, that’s what time does, isn’t it? It changes.

You look up and it’s already time to leave for the day or go to bed. Or worse, you look up and are faced with the reality that your loved ones are older, you are older, and life is different. The plans you thought God put in your heart, the goals and miracles, they haven’t happened.

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is
like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.
Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone
to come to repentance.

2 Peter 3:8-9

When it feels like God didn’t get the time change memo, remember, His time is not our time. No matter how much we wish it was sometimes. But we can also rest in knowing that His time is the PERFECT time. Every time.

So as you adjust to the time change and get ready to welcome in a new spring, take stock of where you are. Are you waiting on God’s time? Or trying to push ahead? Are you talking to Him daily and more importantly, listening? Or forgetting Him in the stress of the season?

Pray this week:
God, I know you have my best interest at heart. That your time is the perfect time, every time. God forgive me when I forget and try to take control. Help me to put my timing aside. Remind me every day to talk and listen to You. To open myself up to your peace, your guidance, and your correction. I thank You that I can trust you with this God. In Jesus Name, Amen.

The Missing Spouse

If I’m being honest, I don’t want to talk about this.

I don’t want to expose this part of my life that has led to fights, anger, and unmet expectations.

What am I talking about?

The missing spouse.

For some of us, Sundays mean walking out the door and leaving a crucial part of our family behind: our husbands.

Maybe your husband wants to hunt instead of going to church, or the game is more important. Or maybe, like me, there might be church hurt in the way. Either way, you have probably tried until you are out of breath to talk him into going.

So what do you do when the arguing, guilt, and whatever else doesn’t change his heart?

We pray! We pray and stay consistent.

PRAY

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-17 says, “ Rejoice always, pray without ceasing,"

Focus on being a constant in God’s ear, not your husband's. God might have planned you to be the one to bring your husband to Him, but at least for me, I don’t believe that’s always the case. Our husbands often are inspired more by other men, peers, and the like.

So instead we honor our husbands, we are kind to them, we show them the love of Christ and we never stop praying that God will turn them into the mighty men of God we know they will become. We let God direct the path of turning their hearts while we focus on just showing God to them.

STAY CONSISTENT

1 Corinthians 7: 14 says, “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.”

Have you ever come home from a worship encounter just glowing? The Spirit was powerful, the songs were great, and the message just spoke to you.

Your husband will see that!

When we choose not to go to a worship encounter, or let ourselves slip into behavior we know is wrong, he sees that, too.

Now, are we going to be perfect? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

But we can show that too. Grace, asking forgiveness, and humbling ourselves.

We are windows into the love of our Father for our husbands.

I wish I could end this by saying this was a healed story, but it’s not. That being said, I can see how God is moving and I truly believe that my husband will be the leader in Christ that I know he can be.

But for those days when it’s hard to remember for you, and for me, look back at these prayers.

PRAYER 1

God, help my husband. I know your presence in his life needs your guidance and restoration. God, I also know that my nagging and anger are not how he is going to get there. God, forgive me for both the anger and bitterness I have held toward my husband and the mistrust in you that it shows. God, help me lean on your word and promises. Lead him God, and help me know what to say and how to act to play my part in your great design. I thank you, God. In Jesus Name, Amen.

PRAYER 2

God, I’m hurting. This isn't what I expected, and it seems hopeless. I’m lost, God, and I’m so so angry. I’m angry at him. God, I’m angry at you. God step into this. Create change like only you can. Soften hearts, his and mine, and lead us into a relationship that is stronger because of it all. God, I am choosing right now to put my trust in you. Give me peace and joy in this marriage, and heal us both. In Jesus Name, Amen.

PRAYER 3

God, my husband believes but why doesn’t it feel like enough? God, I want him to lead not just believe. I want him to experience the connection that I know you can provide. The day-to-day relationship that radiates your joy and is present in everything we do. God I want him to see your spirit move. Please guide him out of whatever is troubling him. Touch his heart, his grief, his pain, his guilt, and show him your love and what he can have in you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Your Year: Starting Where You Are

What does your next year look like?

No, I don’t mean 2025. I mean from this moment, right here.

We often get stuck thinking our ‘year’ has to be the calendar year. We have to choose a word or a goal (or multiple) and start it by January 1st or it doesn’t count. But that is 100% not true!

It’s never the wrong time to choose to stretch and grow. To “put your yes on the table to God before you know what the question is,” as Rusty said in our January 5th worship encounter.

Below are some resources for stretching yourself this year, whether that year starts Jan 1st or Oct 21st. This is YOUR YEAR!

Don’t forget to start your ‘year’ with community at our February 2nd event! This is our annual event which means we are going BIG! Enjoy a catered dinner, fellowship, giveaways, and more importantly learn some of the stories behind the women in our community.

Final Prayer

God, we thank you for the chance to stretch and grow, no matter the time or season. We pray over every lady in our church and community, including ourselves. Create a longing, an unsatisfied thirst for you that is only satisfied with YOUR WORD. Remove our excuses and create in us a commitment to You that is unparalleled. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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If you haven’t given your life to God, or maybe you have felt a stirring but haven’t acted, God is always there for you. He waits at the door to your heart. Open it. Loosen the fear. Life won’t be without hardship, and doubts will come, but God is bigger and SO much better. We pray with you today that God draws you near and helps you see all that He has created you to be. We would love to hear from you below in the comments, on our Facebook page, or at churchthatmatters.com/connect .

3 Tips for a Joy-Filled Christmas

Let’s be real. We all have a huge list of to-do’s but none of them probably include “Learn how to enjoy the season.” But I promise it’s much simpler than you think and we did all the hard work for you.

Let’s see how easy in the final part of our series with advice from Pastor Jim Stecker, Church That Matters’s Executive Pastor of Marriage and Family Biblical Guidance Counseling on 3 TIPS FOR A JOY-FILLED CHRISTMAS.

Tip 1: Capture the Moment
Slowing down can feel IMPOSSIBLE this season, but capturing the moment is what this season is all about! And no, we aren’t talking about capturing it on your phone. Turn the TV off, put away electronics, sit down and talk to your family, read a book together, or take a walk. Most importantly, be present!

Tip 2: Reclaim Your Planner
From cookie exchanges to gatherings and parades to Christmas shopping, our planners get full fast. But NONE of that is important! It’s time to reclaim your schedule by focusing on our savior! Say no to that potluck and spend time reading Luke. Cancel that party you didn’t want to go to anyway and choose to spend time singing carols to your King! Make this season about Him, not you.

Tip 3: Practice Gratitude
Being grateful this time of year can be a bit tricky. Comparison is rampant, and that’s without looking at the sales and ads that make you think you need it all. But Pastor Jim discussed how much of a game changer it is to sit down and talk about what we do have and how we are grateful for it. Bonus, this also helps you practice being present! Pastor Jim pointed out this verse.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. -Philippians 4:8

BONUS Tip 4: Stay in Community

“Sometimes isolation causes you to want to just stay isolated,” said Pastor Jim.

Not everyone has a family they are close to. Others have to share family with other grandparents, ex-spouses, and obligations. The perfect recipe to feel isolated and alone. But please, don’t isolate yourself! Reach out to your friends, acquaintances, or your house church, and start making new traditions. Plan a recipe exchange, go to a movie, and enjoy the community God has placed around you!

Now, we have our marching orders in three easy steps. Let’s have a joy-filled holiday season!

God, thank you for the joy brought down in a little manger. God thank you for these women and for the way you are going to touch their lives and use them for your glory. God help us remember these points throughout our week. Keep us grounded in you, thankful for our blessings, and in the moment. God give strength to those who feel alone and surround us all with encouragement and most importantly your joy-filled spirit. We thank you and we love you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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If you haven’t given your life to God, or maybe you have felt a stirring but haven’t acted, God is always there for you. He waits at the door to your heart. Open it. Loosen the fear. Life won’t be without hardship, and doubts will come, but God is bigger and SO much better. We pray with you today that God draws you near and helps you see all that He has created you to be. We would love to hear from you below in the comments, on our Facebook page, or at churchthatmatters.com/connect .

Holiday Conflict Management: Three Steps to Handle Conflict

Conflict is a part of our broken world. While we pray your holidays are filled with joy, we know there is a real chance conflict might come into play. So how do you handle it?

Let’s continue our series with advice from Pastor Jim Stecker, Church That Matters’s Executive Pastor of Marriage and Family Biblical Guidance Counseling, and discuss holiday conflict management.

(Note: The advice below is general to most conflicts but does not include deeper wounds like abuse, neglect, etc.)

Step 1: Keep your focus.

-The holidays are about the birth of Jesus! Focus on His example and His words when dealing with conflict.
-Keep your focus on the family as a whole when confronted with conflict.

“The big thing to realize when there is conflict like that is that you aren’t the only person in the room,” said Pastor Jim pointing out his favorite verse.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
James 1:19

Step 2: Take active steps.

-Pray for the other person you are in a disagreement with, especially if the disagreement is longstanding.
-Take a time-out to cool off during an exchange so you don’t say something you will need to apologize for later.
-Remain objective if you are brought into a conflict as a third party and remind both parties of the end goal as well as who is affected by their actions.

Pastor Jim reminds us, “In most situations, where the hurt feelings come is not really about the conflict itself, it’s about what we say and how we respond because we get our feelings hurt.”

Step 3: Move through or past the conflict.

-Do your best to resolve longstanding conflict before an event you know you will both be attending by reaching with a heart of reconciliation.
-Don’t make your conflict everyone else’s. Attend the event, go to the family gathering, and recognize that you can have conflict, but still be in the same room with them for the sake of the others it would affect.

“Make a phone call!” Jim urges when discussing trying to make amends before an event. He continued, “I think the key thing would be when you are put in a situation where you are in the same room, the same house, and the same setting with people that you may have strained relationships, is to be mindful of the bigger picture,” said Pastor Jim.

In the end…

Every situation can’t be resolved, and some are not something you should ever try to resolve on your own. But, with most simple conflicts, you can choose to keep your focus, take active steps, and move past or through conflict to ensure your holidays run a little smoother.

God, thank you that even when we are faced with a tough situation, You are there. Allow us to reconcile past conflict and sit in the beauty you have created, at peace with those around us. Forgive us for afflictions we may put on others, even without knowing, and remind us every day that you are the reason for this season. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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If you haven’t given your life to God, or maybe you have felt a stirring but haven’t acted, God is always there for you. He waits at the door to your heart. Open it. Loosen the fear. Life won’t be without hardship, and doubts will come, but God is bigger and SO much better. We pray with you today that God draws you near and helps you see all that He has created you to be. We would love to hear from you below in the comments, on our Facebook page, or at churchthatmatters.com/connect .

Fight-Free Holiday Tips

It’s easy to think our world is full of reasons to be anything but joyous during the holidays. From fights with extended family to fights with a spouse about the Christmas budget, conflict is part of the season. But it doesn’t have to be.

We sat down with Jim Stecker, Church That Matters’s Executive Pastor of Marriage and Family Biblical Guidance Counseling to provide an inside look at how to have a joy-filled Christmas.

Not going to lie; there was SO MUCH useful information that it made it hard to cut down. So we decided not to. Over the next week, we will break down the conversation into three categories.

1. How to Avoid Conflict
2. How to Handle Conflict
3. Tips for a Joy-Filled Christmas

Today, let’s get started with…

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HOW TO AVOID CONFLICT

Step 1: Practice active listening.
-Focus on what the other person is saying, not what you want to say next.
-Repeat what they are saying to make sure you understand.

“Most conflicts are created because of misunderstanding,” said Pastor Jim Stecker.

Step 2: Plan ahead of the holidays (like mid-November or sooner).
-Sit down (if married, with your husband) and decide what you will spend this holiday season and who you will be spending it on.
-Plan out where you will go, who you will see, and how long you will be there during the holidays (again, if married, make sure your husband is part of this conversation).

Step 3: Stick to it.
-Don’t deviate from your plan regardless of pressure from others.
-If needed, have a conversation with family/friends about what they can expect as far as your time and your budget for gifts.

“That’s where people get messed up, is they think you are giving them something based on their worth…If we could give a gift to a family member because we love them, there would be no end to what we would give,” Pastor Jim said when discussing how to handle hurt feelings over gifts and expectations with family.

Don’t let your holidays get stressful because of conflict that could have been avoided. And for the conflict that can’t, you will have to check out our next blog. In the meantime, let’s pray:

God, where do we even start? Thank you for your son and for your light inside of us. Forgive us for allowing other things to become more important than you. God step in. Don’t let us welcome conflict, but instead open our ears to hear others. Clear our minds so we can plan, respond, and follow through with the work you have for us. Give us strength to face the challenges and the odds and show your grace and your love in every situation. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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If you haven’t given your life to God, or maybe you have felt a stirring but haven’t acted, God is always there for you. He waits at the door to your heart. Open it. Loosen the fear. Life won’t be without hardship, and doubts will come, but God is bigger and SO much better. We pray with you today that God draws you near and helps you see all that He has created you to be. We would love to hear from you below in the comments, on our Facebook page, or at churchthatmatters.com/connect .

Praise God in Your Season of Thankfulness (Includes Printables)

Thank you is probably second nature for most of us.

Someone opens a door, “Thank you.”

Someone hands you a receipt, “Thank you.”

Someone lets you into traffic, and you wave ’Thank you’ (hopefully).

We throw around ‘Thank you’ like it’s nothing, but our thanksgiving is EVERYTHING. It is praise to our God!

“I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.” Psalm 69:30

He created and orchestrated everything. He stirs up the wind and, at one time or another, He stirred up your soul to receive His glorious love.

When we are thankful for little moments, the big moments, and the people scattered across our lives and tell Him so, we glorify Him.

So this November, glorify God with your thanks. Pray and pray often about what you are thankful for. Share your thankfulness with others!

Use the gratitude cards below to thank your postal worker, your friend, your parent, or a stranger for a smile. Use the thankfulness mobile as a fun craft for you, your kids, or your grandkids.

Go outside! See the leaves as they dance, the stars as they sparkle, and the world as it quiets, and thank God for it all!

God, we know your beauty is everywhere. There is so much to be thankful for, how could we even start? Open our eyes this month to your works and your people. Help us expand our thankfulness as we learn to praise you more and more. Clear the fears, doubts, and anger that stops us from seeing the world as you created it. Thank you God for this beautiful and wonderful life you have given us. In Jesus name, Amen.

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If you haven’t given your life to God, or maybe you have felt a stirring but haven’t acted, God is always there for you. He waits at the door to your heart. Open it. Loosen the fear. Life won’t be without hardship, and doubts will come, but God is bigger and SO much better. We pray with you today that God draws you near and helps you see all that He has created you to be. We would love to hear from you below in the comments, on our Facebook page, or at churchthatmatters.com/connect .

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Meet the Pastor's Wife: Megan Gunn

How many times have you seen her in the box?

She is always smiling, usually loud, and always checking in on her people (or chasing Colt around).

Today, we are going to go further into the life of Megan Gunn, the pastor’s wife. We will hear her talk about hard times, highlights in ministry, and more! It’s time to watch Meet the Pastor’s Wife: Part 2.

Want to see more? Check out our Facebook page for more videos from this interview and come to our Christmas event to hear Megan speak in person!