It’s easy to think our world is full of reasons to be anything but joyous during the holidays. From fights with extended family to fights with a spouse about the Christmas budget, conflict is part of the season. But it doesn’t have to be.
We sat down with Jim Stecker, Church That Matters’s Executive Pastor of Marriage and Family Biblical Guidance Counseling to provide an inside look at how to have a joy-filled Christmas.
Not going to lie; there was SO MUCH useful information that it made it hard to cut down. So we decided not to. Over the next week, we will break down the conversation into three categories.
1. How to Avoid Conflict
2. How to Handle Conflict
3. Tips for a Joy-Filled Christmas
Today, let’s get started with…
HOW TO AVOID CONFLICT
Step 1: Practice active listening.
-Focus on what the other person is saying, not what you want to say next.
-Repeat what they are saying to make sure you understand.
“Most conflicts are created because of misunderstanding,” said Pastor Jim Stecker.
Step 2: Plan ahead of the holidays (like mid-November or sooner).
-Sit down (if married, with your husband) and decide what you will spend this holiday season and who you will be spending it on.
-Plan out where you will go, who you will see, and how long you will be there during the holidays (again, if married, make sure your husband is part of this conversation).
Step 3: Stick to it.
-Don’t deviate from your plan regardless of pressure from others.
-If needed, have a conversation with family/friends about what they can expect as far as your time and your budget for gifts.
“That’s where people get messed up, is they think you are giving them something based on their worth…If we could give a gift to a family member because we love them, there would be no end to what we would give,” Pastor Jim said when discussing how to handle hurt feelings over gifts and expectations with family.
Don’t let your holidays get stressful because of conflict that could have been avoided. And for the conflict that can’t, you will have to check out our next blog. In the meantime, let’s pray:
God, where do we even start? Thank you for your son and for your light inside of us. Forgive us for allowing other things to become more important than you. God step in. Don’t let us welcome conflict, but instead open our ears to hear others. Clear our minds so we can plan, respond, and follow through with the work you have for us. Give us strength to face the challenges and the odds and show your grace and your love in every situation. In Jesus Name, Amen.
If you haven’t given your life to God, or maybe you have felt a stirring but haven’t acted, God is always there for you. He waits at the door to your heart. Open it. Loosen the fear. Life won’t be without hardship, and doubts will come, but God is bigger and SO much better. We pray with you today that God draws you near and helps you see all that He has created you to be. We would love to hear from you below in the comments, on our Facebook page, or at churchthatmatters.com/connect .
