The story of Judah and Tamar is not pleasant. Broken promises, deception, immorality and incest... but through it all we see the grace of God. Sounds more like a soap opera or movie than the story of one of only 4 women mentioned by name in the lineage of Christ.
“God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant.” Romans 5:20
We see this truth illustrated in Genesis 38. In fact, the grace of God is magnified in this story.
As we read in last week’s post by Heather Dillingham, Tamar had been waiting. Waiting to receive the gift of motherhood. Waiting for a third son to come of age and fulfill the promise of a child. Waiting for the shame of her unfulfilled promise to no longer weigh on her. Waiting for the guilt of losing 2 husbands before they could or would fulfill this promise. Waiting to no longer be the outcast, downtrodden, dismayed or forgotten. Waiting to find her purpose.
Scripture doesn’t tell us how long Tamar had been waiting. Only that “some years” had passed and that “Tamar was aware that Shelah had grown up, but no arrangements had been made for her to come and marry him.” Tamar, no doubt felt forgotten and alone. I’m sure she wondered, “how much longer must I wait”. Constantly living in shame. Visibly announcing with her widow’s clothing to the whole community that she has no husband and no seed to carry on the family of Judah.
Alas, Tamar receives word that Judah is coming to town and Tamar decides to take things into her own hands. To be the master of her destiny. She is tired of the waiting and is taking control.
In short, Tamar dresses like a prostitute in order to seduce Judah into having sex with her in hopes that she would become pregnant and find her purpose and receive her promise that is so long overdue. It’s as if she was a rebellious me at age 16 daring Judah to continue to withhold his son from her. She says “here, hold my veil!” I’ll show you who’s in control of my future.
Tamar was clever and manipulating. She was very calculating. Even asking Judah, “what will you give me to guarantee you will pay me” for sex. It’s like she knew that if she didn’t hold on to proof of his identity, there would be grave consequences. Tamar thought of everything. And just like sin often does, she got exactly what she wanted. She became pregnant.
You’ll have to read next week’s blog to find out what happens next in the story. What I’d like to focus on for the rest of mine is God’s grace.
Our sinfulness is never a surprise to God. We live in a fallen world, and though we are far removed from Tamar and the ancient people of her story, we live in our own stories of disappointment, temptation, and hurt. We bear deep scars from the consequences of actions and inaction. And very often, we too give up on God’s promises and take things into our own hands trying to fulfill a promise that only God can do.
The good news? Jesus loves us regardless of our dysfunctional, crazy mess. He never loves us less, no matter how much we’ve screwed up, or the addictive past we claim or crimes we may carry. The consequences of sin are painful, but Christ’s love remains pure. We are forgiven and loved.
God loves us. He created us. He made a way to rescue us. Tamar didn’t know the full significance of her life on earth, nor do we know ours. But there is a purpose, nothing is wasted and everything will be made right when Jesus returns.
Mary Swafford is the founder of Shaken & Stirred, Meals that Matter, Coffee Talk, and a Co-Owner of Boulder Coffee in downtown Sand Springs. She is a wife, a mother of 3 beautiful children, but most importantly a daughter of the most high God. You are likely to find her chugging or serving coffee, sitting in a tattooist’s chair, or making friends out of strangers.
Photo by Adele Shafiee on Unsplash