Consequences // Sheila Dorris

There may be someone in your life that you look up to and admire. They may have different qualities that you may like. Maybe they just seem to have their life somehow a little more together than yours. You strive to be like them, but something or someone may drag you down.

As we have learned in the previous weeks, Tamar has been through a lot of hardships. Marrying Er, who displeased God so much that God killed him. Yikes! Then being given in marriage to her selfish brother-in-law, Onan (who also angered God and died). According to custom Tamar needed to be given to Shelah once he had grown up. But Judah was hesitant. I mean, I kinda get that maybe he's thinking Tamar is just bad luck, or evil. 

Tamar, was upset that she was sent back to live with her father. It was not her fault her husbands had made God angry. So when Tamar learns that: 

1. Shelah had grown up 

2. Her father-in-law was in town 

3. Judah hadn’t sent for her 

Tamar becomes a little more DARING and disguises herself as a prostitute. She’s done waiting. 

Judah comes to her not knowing she is his 2 time daughter-in-law and wants um...well ya know…some hanky panky. If he had only known it was her he probably would have been worried for his own safety after what happened to two of his sons.  

Before they sleep together she wants to know what her payment will be in return. He offers her a goat, but she asks for a pledge in the meantime, something of his that would prove his identity (His staff and seal with the cord). Tamar was risking it all now. She was lying to her father-in-law about who she was, about to have sex with him, and demanding assurances ahead of time!

Once Judah was back home, he sent his servant with payment so that he could get his personal items back. But they could not find the prostitute. In fact, no one knew of a prostitute in that area. 

Then Judah received word: 

‘“Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant.”

Judah said, “Bring her out and have her burned to death!”’
(Genesis 38:24)

Tamar was like, hold up a minute! Take a look at these personal belongings I have of my child's father. Do you recognize anything? Hmmmm? 

“Judah recognized them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not sleep with her again.”
(Genesis 38:26)

In the end, Tamar was blessed with twin boys and now she had the protection she needed. In the end, she was given the number of children she had been promised. One child for each of her marriages.  

So in this situation no one was fully in the right. All parties took the situation and tried to fix it the only way they knew how: Judah was protecting his remaining son and Tamar just wanted the children she was promised. We all make mistakes like this and yet because of God’s grace through Jesus, we can become God's children. We are not always going to do things right, only Jesus was able to manage that feat. 

The person you look up to the most isn't going to do everything right. No matter how "together" they appear. They could be a part of the lineage of Jesus Christ but it doesn't matter in the end because they still mess up. We must look to God to take care of these situations. Lean in on him, and be DARING as you act on HIS commands.

Sheila Dorris is the adoptive mother of three (now) adult children and is now enjoying being an empty nester. Sheila shares co-ownership of Mojo Merchandise, in downtown Sand Springs, with her best friend. Sheila has served and continues to serve in many areas at Church that Matters. Including: House Church, KTM, Access, Guest Services, and on the production team as a Live Stream Host. Sheila is famous for her sermon notes, taken each week as a guide for others on Facebook. This often starts conversations between those who may have questions about church or may just need to hear the sermon. She loves being silly and making people smile. If you see her, stop her and say "Hello".

Photo by Adele Shafiee on Unsplash

The Grace of God // Mary Swafford

The story of Judah and Tamar is not pleasant.  Broken promises, deception, immorality and incest... but through it all we see the grace of God.  Sounds more like a soap opera or movie than the story of one of only 4 women mentioned by name in the lineage of Christ.

“God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were.  But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant.”  Romans 5:20

We see this truth illustrated in Genesis 38.  In fact, the grace of God is magnified in this story.  

As we read in last week’s post by Heather Dillingham, Tamar had been waiting.  Waiting to receive the gift of motherhood.  Waiting for a third son to come of age and fulfill the promise of a child.  Waiting for the shame of her unfulfilled promise to no longer weigh on her.  Waiting for the guilt of losing 2 husbands before they could or would fulfill this promise.  Waiting to no longer be the outcast, downtrodden, dismayed or forgotten.  Waiting to find her purpose.

Scripture doesn’t tell us how long Tamar had been waiting.  Only that “some years” had passed and that “Tamar was aware that Shelah had grown up, but no arrangements had been made for her to come and marry him.”  Tamar, no doubt felt forgotten and alone.  I’m sure she wondered, “how much longer must I wait”.  Constantly living in shame.  Visibly announcing with her widow’s clothing to the whole community that she has no husband and no seed to carry on the family of Judah.  

Alas, Tamar receives word that Judah is coming to town and Tamar decides to take things into her own hands.  To be the master of her destiny.  She is tired of the waiting and is taking control.  

In short, Tamar dresses like a prostitute in order to seduce Judah into having sex with her in hopes that she would become pregnant and find her purpose and receive her promise that is so long overdue.  It’s as if she was a rebellious me at age 16 daring Judah to continue to withhold his son from her.  She says “here, hold my veil!”  I’ll show you who’s in control of my future.

Tamar was clever and manipulating.  She was very calculating.  Even asking Judah, “what will you give me to guarantee you will pay me” for sex.  It’s like she knew that if she didn’t hold on to proof of his identity, there would be grave consequences.  Tamar thought of everything.  And just like sin often does, she got exactly what she wanted.  She became pregnant.

You’ll have to read next week’s blog to find out what happens next in the story.  What I’d like to focus on for the rest of mine is God’s grace.

Our sinfulness is never a surprise to God.  We live in a fallen world, and though we are far removed from Tamar and the ancient people of her story, we live in our own stories of disappointment, temptation, and hurt.  We bear deep scars from the consequences of actions and inaction.  And very often, we too give up on God’s promises and take things into our own hands trying to fulfill a promise that only God can do.

The good news?  Jesus loves us regardless of our dysfunctional, crazy mess.  He never loves us less, no matter how much we’ve screwed up, or the addictive past we claim or crimes we may carry.  The consequences of sin are painful, but Christ’s love remains pure.  We are forgiven and loved.

God loves us.  He created us.  He made a way to rescue us.  Tamar didn’t know the full significance of her life on earth, nor do we know ours.  But there is a purpose, nothing is wasted and everything will be made right when Jesus returns.

Mary Swafford is the founder of Shaken & Stirred, Meals that Matter, Coffee Talk, and a Co-Owner of Boulder Coffee in downtown Sand Springs. She is a wife, a mother of 3 beautiful children, but most importantly a daughter of the most high God. You are likely to find her chugging or serving coffee, sitting in a tattooist’s chair, or making friends out of strangers.

Photo by Adele Shafiee on Unsplash