Recently I learned an old high-school friend is pregnant after trying for at least 10 years. They had done treatments, she had tried to work on stress, but nothing had worked.
She is the friend we all have who grew up loving children and even has a room already prepared in her house for a child that had yet to come. Despite all of this, she couldn’t seize God’s timing.
She couldn’t make God’s will bend to her own so she could have a child sooner. She had to do the painful task of waiting, wishing, and hoping. She had to be patient. I mean REALLY patient.
Something our subject today understands.
Tamar was supposed to have children. It was not only the promise and decree given to God’s people but the cultural norm and necessity of the day.
After the failure to have any with her first husband, who God destroyed because of his wickedness, she was given to her brother-in-law who was supposed to fulfill this promise to her.
Yet in Genesis 38: 9 you see that Onan (the new husband) did a pretty deceitful thing in order to keep her from getting pregnant.
Notice that at this moment, Tamar is doing what she is supposed to do. She is waiting and following directions and yet God’s promise is not happening. Counter to that, her new husband is actively going against God’s promise and trying to seize his own destiny.
Not surprisingly this gets him killed. Notice the first and second husband’s actions affected the length of time Tamar would have to wait to receive her promise.
Actions affect more than just you. Tamar did nothing that scripture tells us caused her waiting to increase yet the actions of her husbands and father-in-law did. We see that in the next part of the scripture.
Judah then said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Live as a widow in your father’s household until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He may die too, just like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s household.
Genesis 38: 11
Tamar was sent back to her family to wait and treated by her father-in-law like a plague. How she handles this, we will see later in scripture, but today we are focused on the acceptance and resilience she shows as she waits.
What we do in the waiting speaks about our character. We can try to seize it as Tamar’s husbands did, or we can choose to follow God’s timeline and not let the actions of others or the world stop us from believing in a promise.
Whether you are waiting for the promise of a child, like my friends and Tamar, or just waiting for clarity, learn to accept that God knows and plans for all things. He will not forget you in your waiting.
Heather is a contributing writer for Shaken & Stirred. She is a believer, a wife, and a mother to a wonderful (and sometimes crazy) one-year-old. She enjoys reading, playing video games, and listening to podcasts. She can usually be taking care of the home and playing on the floor with her daughter.
Photo by Adele Shafiee on Unsplash