Throughout the Bible we come across instances where parents were considering wives for their sons; if they were a part of Abraham's descendants they often warned their sons away from the women of Canaan.
Abraham commanded his servant in Genesis 24:3,
“Swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and earth, that you will not allow my son (Isaac) to marry one of these local Canaanite women.”
Isaac commanded his second born son, Jacob:
““Do not marry a Canaanite woman. Go at once to Paddan Aram, to the house of your mother’s father Bethuel. Take a wife for yourself there, from among the daughters of Laban, your mother’s brother. May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples.”
(Genesis 28:1-3)
But you know what’s funny? Isaac’s other son, Esau, married a Canaanite woman just to make his parents angry. I mean why not, Jacob had already stolen his birthright, why not snub his parents by marrying someone unsuitable.
Why does any of this matter? Well the reason against marrying into the Canaanite tribe was fairly basic: they worshiped other gods.
“Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.” (Deuteronomy 7:3-4)
There was another instance in Genesis 28 where a descendant of Abraham married a Canaanite. Judah (the great great Grandson of Abraham) married a Canaanite woman. The Bible doesn’t name her other than to say she was the daughter of a man named Shua. Judah’s wife gave him 3 sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah. However, the Bible does say that Judah found his son Er a wife named Tamar, and that God saw that Er was wicked and the Lord killed him…
You have to wonder how bad Er was for God to actually kill him outright. Unfortunately, Tamar wasn’t able to conceive a child before Er died and that left her in a strange limbo situation. Like most cultures, it was important to continue the family line. For the descendants of Abraham it was even more important because it was a sign that God was fulfilling his promise. When Er died I’m sure that Tamar despaired. Her purpose was to be a wife and a mother. Without a child her position was uncertain. But you know the irony to me is that Tamar is named after the Date Palm, a tree that grows in warm typically dry places. A palm that gives off fruit. She was named after a tree that literally signifies fertility! To me, her very name signifies what her future should hold: children.
Have you ever felt that God has promised you something? For me, I believe that I’ve been promised a family. Like many others in the world today, my husband and I are fighting against infertility. It’s a painful journey to take and only made bearable through prayer and the comfort of God’s word. I’ve spoken about it many times in the past 5 years since my husband was diagnosed with infertility.
At this point in our journey, I feel a lot like Tamar must have: hopeless and resigned. She didn’t have options (the only option for her future we’ll cover in next week’s post) and right now it doesn’t feel like we have options.
I want to encourage you though and say: that is a lie.
Satan wants us to believe that there’s nothing we can do, but that’s not true. You can pray, you can take one more step in the direction God is calling you. Spend some time with God today and ask Him, “What is the promise that YOU want me to hold onto?”
Bethany Thomas is the Publicity Coordinator and a contributing writer for Shaken & Stirred. She is a daughter of God, a wife, and a dog mom. When not writing for the blog, you are most likely to find her reading a fantasy novel or crafting at her home in Sapulpa, OK.
Photo by Adele Shafiee on Unsplash