When I was fifteen I went on my first trip to Haiti and from that moment on I knew it would not be my last. In 2016, my husband Michael and I sold everything we owned and started working for a ministry located in Haiti. Before we moved, we noticed some things about the couple we would soon be working for that just didn’t seem like a good fit for us. We realized early on that they did things a little different than we would but it was too late to turn back. We had already sold all of our belongings and announced we were moving.
Unfortunately, about a year into living there it came down to the point where we couldn’t turn a blind eye to some of these things we were seeing. It wasn’t only about how we were being treated, but even more so how they treated the Haitian people. They were supposed to be there to serve and show love to these people, but it seemed as if the opposite was taking place. After months of prayer we made the tough decision to move back home.
After we came back, I was bitter. For as long as I could remember, moving to Haiti was my calling. So when it didn’t work out the way I had hoped, I wanted someone to blame. I wished failure on them. Don’t get me wrong, our time in Haiti was life changing. We saw God move in ways that I have never seen before. But because of the way our relationship ended with this ministry I was not allowing my time there to be a blessing. I was hurt and allowed my bitterness to stop God from further using us in ministry, even though I knew it’s what he wanted for our family. It had been almost a year since moving home when I realized I was still holding onto that hurt and hadn’t forgiven them.
This couple had no idea I was still upset, my anger wasn’t affecting them at all, it was only hurting me. I was reminded of Ephesians 4:32. This verse seems so simply put yet so hard to obey.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Today, I went to my fourth funeral within the last two weeks. What I’ve been reminded of over this time is just how short life is and how important relationships are. I know that some relationships seem destroyed beyond repair, maybe in your eyes that person that hurt you doesn’t deserve forgiveness. But what I’ve learned is that forgiveness is not always for the person who hurt us, but rather for us to move on from the past and look ahead to the future. When I chose forgiveness over bitterness during my time of hurt, I had allowed God to use me again in ways that may not have been possible if I had continued to hold that anger in my heart.
Forgiveness is brave, it’s bold, & it’s necessary if we want to be more like Christ. If you chose to say YES to forgiveness today, laying down bitterness, what would look different? How could God use that obedience in your life? Join me in living out Ephesians 4:32 choosing kindness, compassion, and forgiveness, just like Jesus does and has commanded us to do.
Photo by Justin Heap on Unsplash