Roads // Brandee Pait

Have you ever been mad at someone? Did you want to scream at the top of your lungs because of what someone did to you, which caused you deep emotional pain? Or, maybe it's an ugly cry, but well, that didn't make you feel better either. It's a season that nobody prays to experience and yet we do go through it. The Bible says the devil wants to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). However, God doesn't say life will be all sunshine and rainbows. He says in John 16:33,

 "In the world, you will have tribulation." 

So let's look at the roads you can choose to walk through when your world turns upside down by deep hurt.

When someone hurts you and causes pain, I know most have experienced the infamous road of bitterness. It's when the pain takes over and begins to control your emotions. Oh, you know the devil is getting excited about this road. He puts it in your head that you want someone to be held accountable for their actions. Don't you want victory for the hurt they have caused (the snake asks)? Bitterness is a bad deal that makes extensive guarantees on the front end but delivers nothing you want on the back end. God knows what you need. God is about peace, and through bitterness, you turn your heart away from God. In John 14:27, Jesus says,

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled; do not be afraid." 

God wants peace for all his children. Bitterness does not lead us to forgiveness but keeps us chained up in unforgiveness. We want results; at least, that's what the devil is telling you; however, we know as Christians that this is not the road God wants us to go down.

The road God wants for us is the road of forgiveness. This road is not easy for people; however, forgiveness is a command from God. He wants us to think about it daily as He talks about it in the Lord's Prayer, in Matthew 6:9 14-15

 "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." 

Forgiveness is not easy for our worldly selves. However, we need to think about how God gave his one and only Son for our sins. Then, it will be easier for those who go through deep hurt to start the healing process. In Colossians 3:13,

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

We have all been forgiven for our sins through the blood of Jesus! This is so awesome! So, when you go through deep hurt, remember what God has done for you, and when choosing forgiveness, you are choosing to begin the healing process.

Brandee Pait is the secretary of Shaken & Stirred. She's a daughter of a God, a wife, a mother of 2 amazing boys, and blessed with a daughter-in-law. She is a Registered Nurse. Brandee enjoys a Peanut Butter Baylees from Boulder Coffee (minus the coffee) with her gals at Coffee Talk.

Photo by John Lockwood on Unsplash

Necessary Forgiveness // Baylee Wilson

When I was fifteen I went on my first trip to Haiti and from that moment on I knew it would not be my last. In 2016, my husband Michael and I sold everything we owned and started working for a ministry located in Haiti. Before we moved, we noticed some things about the couple we would soon be working for that just didn’t seem like a good fit for us. We realized early on that they did things a little different than we would but it was too late to turn back. We had already sold all of our belongings and announced we were moving. 

Unfortunately, about a year into living there it came down to the point where we couldn’t turn a blind eye to some of these things we were seeing. It wasn’t only about how we were being treated, but even more so how they treated the Haitian people. They were supposed to be there to serve and show love to these people, but it seemed as if the opposite was taking place. After months of prayer we made the tough decision to move back home. 

After we came back, I was bitter. For as long as I could remember, moving to Haiti was my calling. So when it didn’t work out the way I had hoped, I wanted someone to blame. I wished failure on them. Don’t get me wrong, our time in Haiti was life changing. We saw God move in ways that I have never seen before. But because of the way our relationship ended with this ministry I was not allowing my time there to be a blessing. I was hurt and allowed my bitterness to stop God from further using us in ministry, even though I knew it’s what he wanted for our family. It had been almost a year since moving home when I realized I was still holding onto that hurt and hadn’t forgiven them. 

This couple had no idea I was still upset, my anger wasn’t affecting them at all, it was only hurting me. I was reminded of Ephesians 4:32. This verse seems so simply put yet so hard to obey. 

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Today, I went to my fourth funeral within the last two weeks. What I’ve been reminded of over this time is just how short life is and how important relationships are. I know that some relationships seem destroyed beyond repair, maybe in your eyes that person that hurt you doesn’t deserve forgiveness. But what I’ve learned is that forgiveness is not always for the person who hurt us, but rather for us to move on from the past and look ahead to the future. When I chose forgiveness over bitterness during my time of hurt, I had allowed God to use me again in ways that may not have been possible if I had continued to hold that anger in my heart. 

Forgiveness is brave, it’s bold, & it’s necessary if we want to be more like Christ. If you chose to say YES to forgiveness today, laying down bitterness, what would look different? How could God use that obedience in your life? Join me in living out Ephesians 4:32 choosing kindness, compassion, and forgiveness, just like Jesus does and has commanded us to do. 

Photo by Justin Heap on Unsplash

Walking in Obedience // Mary Swafford

If you haven’t figured it out, our theme this month for the Shaken & Stirred blog is “obedience”. 

Obedience can be such a tough word to hear. For me it brings back memories of feeling like a failure. Throughout my childhood and into young adulthood, I never seemed to measure up to my parents’ standards and expectations. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to get it right. I couldn’t clean my room well enough, wear the right clothes, do well enough in school, choose the right friends . . . you see where this is going. I lived in a world of black and white, but I only had gray crayons if you know what I mean. 

I decided to scour the internet to find the definition of obedience. Because, you know, Google knows everything. I found the typical dictionary definition:

“compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another's authority. "ie. children were taught to show their parents obedience"’ 

Sounds a lot like childhood. I decided to keep looking (Imagine that) and I found this explanation: 

“Another Greek word for obey in the New Testament means "to trust." According to Holman's Illustrated Bible Dictionary, a succinct definition of biblical obedience is "to hear God's Word and act accordingly.” 

I really like this one (Imagine that). 

As I thought about this definition and read through Bible passages regarding obedience, God eventually took me back to Sunday night’s Spill’in Tea event. I love God’s timing. 

If you weren’t there, Angie Rigsby gave her testimony and talked a bit about Exodus 33 and Moses leading the Israelites into the Promised Land. The more I read the words above, “to hear God’s Word and act accordingly”, the more I thought about the passages in Exodus and our discussion at our table. I thought about how much we are just like Moses, a so-called hero of the faith. But as Jimmy Shaw said in his message Sunday morning;

“...there are no heroes of the faith. There are sinners and there is Jesus. He is our hero of the faith.” 

God has been telling Moses to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. He has told this to Moses more than once. He even has to tell Moses to “get going” and then repeats where Moses is to go. I don’t know how much time passes until we get to verse 12 when the scriptures state, 

“One day Moses said to the Lord….” 

This is where Moses, like a young Mary Swafford, confronts God and begins to question his instructions and point out where he believes God has left out some important details. Then in verse 13; 

“if it is true….” 

Moses begins to make his own demands and seemingly doubts what God has told him. Another Mary Swafford moment. Like Moses, when I have felt God leading me into something and telling me where to go or what to do, before I “act accordingly”, I start to question God. Once I believe his instruction, I then insert my own demands and doubt mine and His ability to accomplish the task. 

Lovingly, just as God does with me, He assures Moses; 

“I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest - everything will be fine for you.” 

Not only will God go with you wherever He has instructed you, but he will give you rest. Not necessarily the kind that happens on the couch with warm blankets, but a better rest. True rest in our spirit, mind and soul that can only come from God himself. 

Again the Lord assures Moses, just as he does me; 

“I will indeed do what you have asked, for I look favorably on you, and I know you by name.” 

God knows Moses and he knows me and he knows you intimately. He already knows our shortcomings and our giftings. And with all of it, He calls us to Him and to his purpose and his plan. He called Moses

to lead the Israelites to the Promised Land and he calls us to lead others to that same Promised Land. He will indeed go with us when we ask. He will make all of his goodness pass before you. And he will give you rest. 

What is God telling you to do today? I pray that you will “hear God's Word and act accordingly” and as you do, may you bask in God’s “glorious presence” Exodus 33:18

Mary Swafford is the founder of Shaken & Stirred, Meals that Matter, Coffee Talk, and a Co-Owner of Boulder Coffee in downtown Sand Springs. She is a wife, a mother of 3 beautiful children, but most importantly a daughter of the most high God. You are likely to find her chugging or serving coffee, sitting in a tattooist’s chair, or making friends out of strangers.

Photo by Krzysztof Kowalik on Unsplash

How Lovely // Mary Swafford

I’m late.  I’m late in writing this blog.  I totally spaced that my blog was due to post on Monday this week.  I never thought about it until I laid down to sleep last night and then it hit me!

I’m late.  But God is always right on time.  Our theme this month for our blog is praying through the Psalms.  I randomly chose a Psalm that I remembered enjoying during our recent study of the Psalms but knew ultimately that God would direct me to another when it came time to write.  

I’m so thankful for His timing.  Had I written my blog on time, I would’ve missed the beauty of listening to the ladies at the tall table at Boulder Coffee today as they wrapped up their final bible study gathering for the summer.  They have been studying Psalm 23 for the last 8 weeks.  I have enjoyed hearing bits and pieces here and there of their conversations of how God has spoken to them through the word.  Today was no different.  There was a lull in activity at the coffee shop which allowed me to hear one of them beautifully describing how God had pointed her to Psalm 84.

I stopped listening to her and started reading the Psalm for myself.  And I knew.  I knew God ordained this moment and this is the Psalm I’m going to pray with you.

As I pray, I hope that you will pray with me too.  Listen to the words of the Psalmist.  The words of God.  Allow them to penetrate your spirit and share with me in the comments how God spoke to you through Psalm 84.

…

How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of Heaven’s Armies.  I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the Lord.  With my whole being, body and soul, I will shout joyfully to the living God.

God, I love you Lord.  I want to be with you, Lord.  I want to feel your presence here with me now.  God I thank you for the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ and the intimacy that knowing Him brings.  God let your presence wash over me.

Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young at a place near your alter, O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, my King and my God!  What joy for those who can live in your house, always singing your praises.

God you take care of even the sparrows needs, Lord how much more will you care for mine?  With your tender love you provide for all of creation.  My King and my God!  What joy you give me.  Lord, I worship you with all that I am.

What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.  When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs.  The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.  They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.

God, you are my strength.  When I am weak, you are strong.  I give my burdens to you and when I lay them down, you will pick them up and carry them for me.  You will be my strength when I have none.  When I am thirsty, you will be my refreshment.  When I am hungry, you will be my nourishment.  

O Lord God of Heaven’s Armies, hear my prayer.  Listen oh God of Jacob.  O God, look with favor upon the king, our shield!  Show favor to the one you have anointed.  

God, listen when I pray.  Don’t let my cry go unheard.  God you know what is on my heart.  Sometimes it is more than I can even speak.  But you know my thoughts before I have them and my words before I say them.  

A single day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else!  I would rather be a gatekeeper in the house of my God than live the good life in the homes of the wicked.

God, I want to be in your presence.  More than anything else, Lord, I want to serve you.  I surrender myself to you.  I give you everything.  My life, my marriage, my family, my home, my possessions, my relationships.  They all come from you and I surrender them to you.  

For the Lord God is our sun and our shield.

Just like when you lead the Israelites out of Egypt and you were their cloud and their fire, God you are my light.  You show me the way to go, which path to follow.  And you are my shield, protecting me from the enemy.

He gives us grace and glory.  The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.

Thank you for your goodness Lord.

O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, what joy for those who trust in you.

I trust in you Lord Jesus.  I love you Lord.  Amen.

Mary Swafford is the founder of Shaken & Stirred, Meals that Matter, Coffee Talk, and a Co-Owner of Boulder Coffee in downtown Sand Springs. She is a wife, a mother of 3 beautiful children, but most importantly a daughter of the most high God. You are likely to find her chugging or serving coffee, sitting in a tattooist’s chair, or making friends out of strangers.

Photo by Cédric VT on Unsplash

Persistence \\ Heather Dillingham

Have you ever noticed that God often likes and helps those who dare? Women (and men) in the Bible who were like, “Ya, that’s cool that this goes against all reason but, my God has me”.

I can’t tell you how many times I have read about Daniel in the lion's den to my daughter and just thought this is crazy! Or read about Ruth who dared to propose to a man. I couldn’t even tell my husband I liked him until he told me first!

But the women I want to talk about today were not only daring. They were persistently daring.

“The daughters of Zelophehad … came forward and stood before Moses, Eleazar the priest, the leaders and the whole assembly at the entrance to the tent of meeting and said, “Our father died in the wilderness…Why should our father’s name disappear from his clan because he had no son? Give us property among our father’s relatives.”
Numbers 27: 1-4
 

Woah woah woah! Do you mean they just walked up and demanded property? In a day and age where women WERE property? Yes and no.

In order to get to Moses in the first place, these five daughters had to first go through lesser courts, pleading their case and daring to demand what they thought was right.

Something else to know about their ask is that it’s not just a simple, “here is some land”. If they get this land, they have to cultivate it, work it, and protect it. They aren’t asking for an easy task. They want the work.

I wonder how many times one of them got nervous or scared and wanted to back out. I wonder how many times they contemplated quitting altogether, but they didn’t, and God blessed them for it:

“Moses brought their case before the Lord, and the Lord said to him, “What Zelophehad’s daughters are saying is right. You must certainly give them property as an inheritance among their father’s relatives and give their father’s inheritance to them.”
Numbers 27: 5-7

This short story in the Bible gives us a glimpse into daring acts that set things apart for a whole family. It goes against customs and norms, but God chose to honor and bless them for their daring. So, what are you daring for?

For me, I’m daring to put my trust in God as I work on side projects that I always thought I wasn’t good enough to do. To fail, mess up, and keep pushing. To do the work and choose to be persistently daring.

Are you ready to be persistently daring? Are you brave enough to do the work and face the courts as Zelophehad’s daughters did? Are you brave enough to go to God?

I pray that each of you makes time today to just listen to God. To what He has called you to be daring for! I pray that He renews you with strength and continues to help you push and be like these five daring women.

Heather is a contributing writer for Shaken & Stirred. She is a believer, a wife, and a mother to a wonderful (and sometimes crazy) toddler. She enjoys reading, playing video games, and listening to podcasts. She can usually be taking care of the home and playing on the floor with her daughter.

Photo by John Thomas on Unsplash

Saying “No”

Saying “no” is a terribly difficult task for me. I do everything in my power to say yes whether that be to other people or myself. However, in not saying “no” I might be doing more damage than good.

Three areas to practice saying “no”:

Entertainment

I love books, movies, tv shows, and music. It is my dream to become an author and write YA fantasy/science fiction novels. Because of that I enjoy consuming all kinds of media. Which can be dangerous if I’m not vigilant. In Philippians 4:8 it says,

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

There are times when the topics of the media I consume do not coincide with what is said in this verse. Now I can easily say no to watching or reading anything in the horror genre. But ask me to see a superhero movie and I’m racing you to the theater. Even if there’s an underlying theme that goes against my beliefs as a Christian: such as witchcraft or gods from other religions I have a hard time saying “no” unless it’s super obviously bad.

For example, I enjoyed watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1996) when I was growing up (secretly of course because my parents didn’t think it was appropriate) and when the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018) came out I thought it would be similar. But it certainly was chilling, and I had to stop it 20 minutes into the first episode.

Why is it I can say no to something blatantly satanic, but I can swallow the comedic candy colored varnished version of the same base material without an issue?

Social Engagements

The fear-of-missing-out is a real feeling, even for a homebody like me. I deeply miss my friends and miss the days where they were right next door, or you could spend hours on the phone with them. As an adult you don’t get to spend as much time with your friends. You end up only getting a few hours at church or an evening or two a month. Which means it feels horrible when you need to say no to an invitation.

But I think we should give grace to each other. There are going to be times when saying “yes” to one more invitation creates an exhaustion that is bone deep. While being with friends is important it is equally important to create margin for rest and refreshment.

“Observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy, as the Lord your God has commanded you. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your ox, your donkey or any of your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns, so that your male and female servants may rest, as you do.”
Deuteronomy 5:12-14

Serving

Since I was 8 years old I have been serving in church. It started with the offering bucket in children’s church and has now bloomed into serving on several different teams, including Shaken & Stirred. It used to be that there were only a couple of places you could serve in: children’s ministry, youth, and (if you could sing) the worship team. But now there are so many other opportunities inside and outside the church that one can get lost in it. However, serving in the church should not become an identity. It should be a natural result of loving Jesus but never your actual identity.

I can easily say “yes”, to serving when I should be saying “no”. I’m a regular Martha when it comes to these things. I get so caught up in the task that I forget the point of it all,

“But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left m e to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”’
Luke 10:40-42

Jesus loves our faithfulness to serve him and the church, but we must make sure that in doing so we don’t lose the point: Jesus himself.

When we say “no” it creates the margin we need to connect with God and serve with a full spirit instead of a drained one. When you serve, make sure it is for the right reasons, your “no” may open the way for the right person to take that open spot.

…

In writing this I am not asking you to say “no” to a friends request to hang out, or from watching the latest marvel tv show, or even from a request to serve on the xyz team at church. I’m asking you all to be daring and say “no” to give yourself margin in your life.

Bethany Thomas is the Publicity Coordinator and a contributing writer for Shaken & Stirred. She is a daughter of God, a wife, and a dog mom. When not writing for the blog, you are most likely to find her reading a fantasy novel or crafting at her home in Sapulpa, OK.

A Choice Between // Mary Swafford

DARING – to be DARING is to be bold, adventurous and a little nervy.  It’s a quality possessed by people who tend to take risks.  If someone says, “I dare you,” and you always do, you’re a daring person.  

If you are DARING, you dare to do things that are risky and even dangerous. A daring mountain climber may go to the top of Mt. Everest, and a daring policeman enters the scariest houses to catch a crook. In comics and movies, superheroes are daring. Even quitting your job to start your own business is daring.  The seafarers who first traveled across the globe were daring. DARING people are brave.

The bible gives us countless stories of ordinary people doing extraordinary things for the cause of Christ. Exodus chapter 1 gives us an account of 2 such daring women; Shiphrah and Puah. They were Hebrew midwives to the Israelite nation.

If you’re not familiar with the story, let me backup a bit. Because of God’s promise to Abraham, to bless him with descendants that would outnumber the stars in the sky, and Abraham’s faithfulness, the Israelites multiplied so greatly that they became powerful and filled the land of Egypt. The Egyptian’s grew to fear the Israelites because of their strength and numbers and made them their slaves. Despite Pharaoh’s efforts to oppress the Israelites, they continued to multiply and spread. The harder the Egyptians treated the Israelites, the more God seemed to bless them.

In a way, this part of the story reminds me of how the church continued to grow and spread the Gospel against all odds during the most oppressing times of the Covid scare. The more the world became fearful and restrictions were put in place to guarantee isolation and control, the more the church found ways to be present in the lives of God’s creation and provide for needs in tangible ways beyond tradition. The harder the world treated God’s people; the more God seemed to bless them.

Pharaoh’s attempts to keep the Israelites from prospering weren’t working to his satisfaction so he 

“gave this order to the Hebrew midwives, Shiphrah and Puah:  “when you help the Hebrew women as they give birth, watch as they deliver.  If the baby is a boy, kill him; if it is a girl, let her live.”’
Exodus 1:15-16

Boom.  

What better way to keep the Israelite nation from growing than to totally eradicate their ability to reproduce? But OUCH! Can you imagine the position this put Shiphrah and Puah in? 

The single most powerful man in the land has ordered you to kill all the Hebrew boys as they are born in an effort to wipe out a nation of your own people. The reason behind the order doesn’t really even matter. What matters are these women’s responses.

The women are at a crossroads. Ensure their own life and obey the orders given or betray Pharoah and allow the male babies to live, and therefore, risk their own life to give those babies theirs.

Have you ever found yourself at a crossroad? Stuck between a rock and a hard place? Neither option is particularly easy. To go left may guarantee your status, financial gain and security, but includes the secret weight of sin and shame. To go right guarantees honoring God with your words, actions and life, although you may lose it. One choice offers familiarity.  The other offers something unknown.

“But because the midwives feared God, they refused to obey the king’s orders.  They allowed the boys to live too.” 
Exodus 1:17

Shiphrah and Puah feared God. They feared God more than they feared Pharaoh or anything he could do to them. They chose to be daring and honor God with their words, actions, and lives. Because they did; 

“God was good to the midwives, and the Israelites continued to multiply, growing more and more powerful.  And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families of their own.” 
Exodus 1:20-21

Shiphrah and Puah dared to do something that was risky and even dangerous. God honored their devotion to Him and blessed them as well as the Israelite nation. God’s promise to Abraham continues in part because of their faithfulness. Not only were their lives changed, but their family for generations to come are a part of the family of God.

What crossroads are you at today in your life? How is God calling you to be DARING for Him?  

Mary Swafford is the founder of Shaken & Stirred, Meals that Matter, Coffee Talk, and a Co-Owner of Boulder Coffee in downtown Sand Springs. She is a wife, a mother of 3 beautiful children, but most importantly a daughter of the most high God. You are likely to find her chugging or serving coffee, sitting in a tattooist’s chair, or making friends out of strangers.

Photo by Maria Ballesteros on Unsplash

Daring to Hope

My spare bedroom is a cluttered mess. Mostly because it has no purpose at the moment. When we first moved into our house it held unpacked boxes along with a spare queen size bed.  

Rachel, my little sister, moved in and out a couple of different times. The last time she ended up moving to California and we decided to get rid of the Queen bed. We had big plans to make the room into a “hangout” spot and bought a futon (because it can “become” a bed). We hooked up our Nintendo 64 and VCR to the TV and hung out in there for a couple of weeks. 

In 2020, around Easter, we kept 4 baby chicks in a storage tote, on a coffee table, in the spare room. It was very a dusty mess after that let me tell you (do not keep chickens in your house, just don’t. It took us a few months until they were big enough to move out and another month for me to clean that room up.  

There’s one item in that room that I haven’t even entertained the notion of changing. A white, three drawer, dresser. The kind with the little scalloped boarder on the sides and back, so you can put things on top without them falling off.  

We received this dresser from my sister-in-law in 2015 after Charles and I were married. She was done with it because her house was getting cluttered and she wanted to update the kids furniture. I thought it would make a great changing table. All you have to do is buy the little changing pad and set it on top… 

This year will mark our 7-year anniversary and the 5th year of our infertility journey.  

And to be truthful, we are starting to lose hope. There are many times that I’ve prayed for God to take away the yearning I feel whenever I see or hold a baby. To help me be content with my life as it is. And yet, I still dream about being a mom. And the wonderful gift there is in being called “mom”.  

I originally didn’t want to share this testimony because of the topic: “Daring to Hope”.  

Psalm 42:5-8NIV says,  

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? 
Why so disturbed within me?  
Put your hope in God,  
For I will yet praise him,  
My Savior and my God. 

My soul is downcast within me; 
Therefore I will remember you  
From the land of the Jordan,  
The heights of Hermon—from mount Mizar. 
Deep calls to deep  
In the roar of your waterfalls; 
All your waves and breakers 
Have swept over me. 

By day the Lord directs his love, 
at night his song is with me-- 
a prayer to the God of my life.” 

Like the Psalmist, we are in constant prayer and seeking God in our situation.  

We have wonderful friends and family who pray and have words of encouragement from God for us. But it is so painful to hope.    

To actively hope, is it put aside fears and disappointments. At the start of every new cycle I pray that this will be the time. I count out the months and imagine what it would be like to share good news with friends and family. I imagine what color I will paint the spare room and how weird it would be to not have it has a “shove it in and close the door” room. But then the day comes when I start my period: some months I can carry on just fine and others I'm a wreck.   

I personally feel that I must tell you all that I don’t have a profound revelation today for keeping grip of the hopes you all have. Since I’m still in my struggle the only advice I have today is “put your hope in God”. 

In Romans 5:3-5 it says,  

“…we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, Character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” 

Hope comes from God, which can only mean to me that I should continue to hold onto it. And gain comfort from what the word says even when the world says we should give up.  

I’m not the woman who buys the kids clothes in the hopes that a little snuggly body will soon wear them. I haven’t painted the spare room or picked out a rocking chair. I’m the woman who has three drawers with odds and ends in them because it represents a hope that one day my prayers will be answered, and I can fill those drawers with baby things that will be used. 

But when it’s hard to hope on your own, be daring, and place your hope with God. 

Bethany Thomas is the Publicity Coordinator and a contributing writer for Shaken & Stirred. She is a daughter of God, a wife, and a dog mom. When not writing for the blog, you are most likely to find her reading a fantasy novel or crafting at her home in Sapulpa, OK.

Photo by Tiago Bandeira on Unsplash

Hadassah

“This is what happened during the time of Xerxes[…]”
Esther 1:1

Hadassah, that’s my name. It means “myrtle tree” and represents love and a promise. My name was given to me by my mother and father. They wanted to remind me of where I came from and the promise that God gave us that we would return, one day, to our homeland. But for now, call me Esther, because I was born in the land of Persia and through God’s favor, I was made Queen of this land.

Esther never asked to be Queen. She was a girl whose circumstances were completely out of her control. As a Jewish orphan being raised by her Uncle Mordecai, her life was probably simple. Most likely she was learning about caring for a house and preparing for her life once she was engaged and married. Along with everyone else in the kingdom she probably talked about what happened to Queen Vashti and wondered who the new Queen would be. But then there was a decree:

“But after Xerxes’ anger had subsided, he began thinking about Vashti and what she had done and the decree he had made. So his personal attendants suggested, “Let us search the empire to find beautiful young virgins for the king. Let the king appoint agents in each province to bring these beautiful young women into the royal harem at the fortress of Susa. Hegai, the king’s eunuch in charge of the harem, will see that they are all given beauty treatments. After that, the young woman who most pleases the king will be made queen instead of Vashti.” This advice was very appealing to the king, so he put the plan into effect.”
Esther 2:1-4

Esther, along with other beautiful girls, was kidnapped and forced into the king’s Harem. She should have disappeared into that Harem but through God’s favor and her Uncle’s warnings to keep her nationality a secret, she instead was CHOSEN by the king,

“Esther was taken to King Xerxes at the royal palace in early winter of the seventh year of his reign. And the king loved Esther more than any of the other young women. He was so delighted with her that he set the royal crown on her head and declared her queen instead of Vashti.”
Esther 2:16-17

Now if this was a movie, that’s where this story would end. A beautiful, exiled, orphan becomes a queen and gains the love of a King. This is what dreams are made of right? But that’s not the end of the story.

Today I want you to think about the kind of bravery and faith that Esther had to practice every day while living in the palace. The fear of discovery must have been a constant thought in her mind. I bet you, her constant comfort was probably her prayer life. Have faith in the direction you feel God pulling you. It might feel terrifying, but God is walking in step with you the whole way. He only asks that you have faith in him.  

Bethany Thomas is the Publicity Coordinator and a contributing writer for Shaken & Stirred. She is a daughter of God, a wife, and a dog mom. When not writing for the blog, you are most likely to find her reading a fantasy novel or crafting at her home in Sapulpa, OK.

Photo by Valerie Elash on Unsplash