Have you ever had a night that you woke up with a heart full of fear? Your stomach hollow, your bones aching, and your mind hyper focused. Years ago this was a nightly routine for me. I would go to sleep just fine but, inevitably, at some point in the night I would wake up hyper focused on and full of fear over the idea of death. It felt like my humanity was crying out at the idea that I won’t live forever.
I still have nights like this, although thankfully much less frequent. Nights that I wake up with the sudden realization that our lives are so fragile. But instead of it causing me to lie awake for hours, now it usually only takes a few minutes before my head is on my pillow and I am off to sleep again. Why you may ask? Because God and His faithfulness shifted my thoughts.
“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”
Psalms 91:4
I don’t know about you but there are definitely times in my life where I needed that shield. That faithfulness that never ends. To know that no matter what I do, what I fear, or what is done to me, I am loved, cared for and enough. So in those dark nights, I seek God, calling out for refuge.
“If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you.”
Psalms: 91: 9-10
This kind of faithfulness should bolster each of us not only in the dark times but also in the bright light of day.
“You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day.”
Psalms 91: 5
God’s faithfulness is there to protect us in everything as we carry out the missions he has set before us. He hears, He delivers, and He never leaves. If that isn’t an example of faithfulness, I don’t know what is.
I thank God in those dark nights for his faithfulness. For his protection and for the promise that when I do die, because we all will, I don’t have to fear anymore. And like that, I can sleep.
Heather is a contributing writer for Shaken & Stirred. She is a believer, a wife, and a mother to a wonderful (and sometimes crazy) one-year-old. She enjoys reading, playing video games, and listening to podcasts. She can usually be taking care of the home and playing on the floor with her daughter.
Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash