“Perhaps, you are in the middle of one.” A friend told me this recently while having a conversation about testimonies. I’ve always had what you might call testimony envy. Something many kids who grew up in church have experienced at one time or another. This pops up normally when someone describes a moment where they were living in sin and then had an encounter with Jesus that changed them forever. Honestly, it’s not the situation or sin they have been freed from that interests me. Rather, it is the encounter with Christ and the feeling of peace that I crave.
““You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the lord [.]”
Jeremiah 29:13
The thing is, if I seek God out He will show up. However, there are going to be times when an encounter with God does not result in the immediate resolution of a struggle. At least that is what I’m coming to terms with right now.
This particular chapter of Jeremiah also has the well known verse:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11
The times in the last 5 years where I have felt the presence of the Lord. I know God has said that my husband and I will have a baby. Because that is our struggle. We are struggling with infertility and with the effects it has on our relationship.
But you know what? I keep going back to God. I reach out to hold my Heavenly Father’s hand because there are days when the silence of my home hurts. It is in that silence that I have the choice. Fill the silence with praise or weeping.
In Jeremiah 29:12 God tells His exiled people in Babylon,
“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”
God is listening to us. I am not alone in the silence. Just as you are not alone in your silence. He is working things out in the background in a way that we can’t understand. But He is still working for our good. In Jeremiah the exiled people were distraught. Their temple had been destroyed, their people scattered and enslaved. It was terrifying, but what is amazing is God’s message to them. He tells them to live, to work, prosper, and multiply. But in all things remember to pray and seek and Him.
Today, my testimony is that sometimes the moments with God you crave are happening right now. Each time you reach out and praise God or read His words is a chance for God to speak with you and tell you that He is nearby.
I believe that someday I will be able to talk more fully about the journey my husband and I are on right now and show you a picture of a baby with his eyes and my smile. I will praise God over and over for how He fulfilled His promises to us. But for now, I’ll praise Him and continue to seek Him as we wait in our quiet valley.
Bethany Thomas is the Publicity Coordinator and a contributing writer for Shaken & Stirred. She is a daughter of God, a wife, and a dog mom. When not writing for the blog, you are most likely to find her reading a fantasy novel or crafting at her home in Sapulpa, OK.
Photo by Adilet Asilbekov on Unsplash