“I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born. I appointed you a prophet to the nations. But I protested, “Oh no, Lord God! Look, I don’t know how to speak since I am only a youth.”
“Then the Lord said to me: Do not say, “I am only a youth,” for you will go to everyone I send you to and speak whatever I tell you. Do not be afraid of anyone, for I will be with you to rescue you.
This is the Lords declaration.
Jeremiah 1:5-8
I grew up attending church in Sand Springs. At the age of 6, I decided I wanted to be baptized. I had heard all the stories about Jesus and I could answer all the questions Brother Hoyt asked of me and so, I got to be baptized. I thought I was big time. I remember being so short that I had to stand on top of a milk crate at the bottom of the baptismal so that the preacher could baptize me. He dunked me so far under the water that my feet flew up to the top and I started to inhale the "holy water" as I tried to cry out for help to keep from drowning. I coughed up that blessed water for what seemed like hours, but I was so proud of myself for being big enough to be baptized. Truthfully I didn't really know what it meant.
After I got a couple of more years under my belt I was attending a vacation bible school at my church. I don't remember the message that day, but I remember that when they had the alter call and as the music played, "Just as I am", my heart began racing and pounding so hard I thought it might jump out of my chest. I knew I had to go to the alter and kneel and pray and surrender my life to Jesus. I sobbed and cried out to him and committed to serve him all of my life. I understood somehow that He is the God of the universe. That he created me for His purpose and that He loved me enough to die on a cross to save me of my sin. That encounter with God shook me. It changed me.
That same week, during vacation bible school, I felt God calling me in to missions. I wanted to grow up and become a missionary and get to tell others about the God who loves me. I made it my mission to tell all my friends about Jesus and his work on the cross.
Eventually though, I became distracted and I forgot all about wanting to be a missionary. Later I wanted to be a professional ballet dancer. When that didn’t pan out, I wanted to be a graphic designer. When that didn’t work out, well I think you see where this is going.
“A person’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
Like many of you, I’ve had plans for my life. Some worked out exactly the way I thought they might. Other’s nowhere near what I had in mind. I’ve experienced a lot in my life. Deaths. Births. Divorce. Marriage. Rebellion. Restoration. Heart Ache. Joy. A lot of things have changed throughout the years, but God has ALWAYS been a constant. Even in my seasons of rebellion, He never left me. He was consistently whispering in my ear. Calling me in to Him. Drawing me to a life of service to Him and those around me.
In recent years, since we’ve been involved with Church That Matters and I’ve had the honor of leading ministries like House Church, Meals That Matter, Prayer Team, Coffee Talk, Shaken & Stirred etc., and managing and later co-owning Boulder Coffee and all the opportunities that have been given me to share the gospel and share my faith and testimony and pray over people and to love others in Jesus name …. I remembered God’s calling on my life to serve Him and be a missionary.
I was overcome with excitement and awe of God and how He works all things together for His good. I felt like I had arrived or something. Like I was fulfilling God’s calling on my life. I had it all.
“God’s gifts and God’s call are under full warranty – never canceled, never rescinded.”
Romans 11:29
I prayed for weeks for God to use me. And then it happened. God asked me to step away from the comfort of leading and being totally emersed in these ministries. To step away from the familiar and secure. God asked me to willingly give up everything I ever wanted to serve Him. He asked me to trust Him completely. For everything.
God asked me if I wanted to be brave, and I said yes.
When asked how to give your testimony, I’ve said you only need to tell 3 things:
Who you were before you met Christ
The moment you met Christ
Who you are now and how you are different because of Christ
I’ve told you I was only a small child when I met Christ and I’ve described that encounter above. But who am I now because of Christ??
I am His.
Mary Swafford is the founder of Shaken & Stirred, Meals that Matter, Coffee Talk, and a Co-Owner of Boulder Coffee in downtown Sand Springs. She is a wife, a mother of 3 beautiful children, but most importantly a daughter of the most high God. You are likely to find her chugging or serving coffee, sitting in a tattooist’s chair, or making friends out of strangers.
Photo by Fanny Gustafsson on Unsplash