God has been wrecking my thoughts the last three weeks. Every time I turn around or read my devotional or attend a worship encounter, it feels as though He is calling to me, drawing me to Him and into a greater, deeper understanding of His purpose.
I wish I could explain sometimes how he speaks to me. I’d like to say that his words have come like thunder or an earthquake, much like Elijah was expecting. But more often than not, His voice comes as a whisper, just as Elijah received. A whisper that seems louder than a scream, that only I can hear. Words that resonate in my mind and on my heart for days, weeks or longer.
If that weren’t enough, then it seems God brings his people, in seemingly innocent conversation, and uses them to remind me of what He has been speaking to me.
I have a bad habit of acknowledging His words and then ignoring them, getting distracted, and going on with life. But in true God fashion, He will come at me again and again and again until I respond.
Right now I’m working through and praying about what exactly my response should be, but I feel compelled to share with you some of what He has been saying to me.
In a recent worship encounter, the speaker said (in the words of the gospel according to Mary’s notes and short term memory) “Our faith shouldn’t be dependent on outcomes, but on who God is.”
Bam.
I can’t get this phrase out of my head. I am, as I suspect you are, often guilty of coming to God with my laundry list of prayer requests and base the depth of my faith on which of those requests He has answered and in what way.
In our House Church’s we are studying the book of Joshua. We’re about midway through the book and we’re reading about the allotment of land, the fulfillment of God’s promise spoken to Moses. In chapter 14, Caleb requests his inheritance and in verse 10, states that it has been:
“forty five years since the Lord spoke this word to Moses.”
Forty five years.
In the book of Genesis, it was about 25 years for God’s promise to make Abraham a father of nations to come to pass.
It’s not always easy to trust God for something. Sometimes we quit praying long before we receive our “answer”. We may even give up. In giving up, we tend to question God or distance ourselves from him, his word, and his people.
Or, we may have a tendency to laugh like our sister Sarah as she laughed when she heard “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.” Because when God speaks, we don’t believe Him or his timing.
But the memory of the pain and sorrows of unanswered prayers or heartfelt longings linger. However, we can raise a hallelujah because we choose to trust God and we choose to surrender to His will. Even when we don’t understand, even when we don’t get the answer we so desperately wanted. We choose to look at His track record and what we know to be true.
I read this verse recently in one of my morning devotionals,
“The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, the Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!”
Lamentations 3:19-24
I don’t want my praise to be dependent on an answered prayer. God I want you to be enough. You are my inheritance and you are more than enough for me! I want to dare to hope in you. Not even looking to receive anything more from you because you’ve already given me everything!
Whatever season you are in, I borrow the words of David to encourage you to trust in God at all times. Pour out your hearts to Him. God is your refuge. Draw near to Him, in good and bad, with lamentations and hallelujahs. He will meet you there.
Photo by Cristobal Baeza on Unsplash