A couple of weeks ago, Amanda Hall preached a sermon on unity. Near the end she spoke about the three step process in Matthew 18:15-20 concerning sin in the church and how to resolve it. But she took it one step further and talked about how the three step process can also relate to conflict resolution between people in the Church.
Today, I want to focus on the 2nd step found in Matthew 18:16.
“But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.”
In Proverbs, there are many wise sayings that help turn us away from sin and back on the path towards God. I believe they can also help us be wise in choosing the person who could be a witness in a conflict.
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” Proverbs 27:5
Find someone who you trust to be truthful. Someone willing to call you out if you are in the wrong. If you have a friend that is willing to call you out when they see you sin, that is a friend that truly loves you. They would also be a person who could be impartial and not take sides.
“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” Proverbs 10:13
A witness needs to be a person who will not break your confidence. Remember, you are bringing them into a situation that could be sensitive. Make sure that you and the other person can both trust the witness to not talk behind your backs.
“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9
Once the matter has been addressed it cannot be brought back up out of context. This situation is not meant to be a weapon in a later argument. All parties must agree that the topic will only be spoken about within context. Because, let’s face it, the matter is probably not fully resolved if someone still feels the need to bring it up in an argument.
Could you see yourself being asked to be a witness in an argument or confrontation? Would you be able to approach a situation with love?
I would like to encourage all of you, if the day comes and you are asked to be a third party in a disagreement. Take a deep breath, pray, and listen without speaking. Allow God to use you in the moment and let him speak through you.
Bethany Thomas is the Publicity Coordinator and a contributing writer for Shaken & Stirred. She is a daughter of God, a wife, and a dog mom. When not writing for the blog, you are most likely to find her reading a fantasy novel or crafting at her home in Sapulpa, OK.
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