#Adoption

Sarai for Sarah // Mary Swafford

What’s in a name?

When I was young, I had a terrible time naming things.  I had a teddy bear named Teddy.  I had a baby doll named Dolly.  I once had a cat named Kitty.  It’s a wonder that my firstborn didn’t come home with the name Baby Boy!

Names are an incredibly important part of our identity. They carry deep personal, cultural and historical connections. They also give us a sense of who we are, the communities in which we belong, and our place in the world.

Naming demonstrates authority. When God created man, he gave him the name Adam, and one of the first jobs he gave Adam was to give names to everything put under his care.

While naming is tied to authority in the scriptures, it also reveals intimacy.  It allows for a person to know and be known by others.

I wasn’t given a name at birth.  Instead, I was given up.  I didn’t belong to anyone.  No one was there to claim me.  For the weeks and months I spent in the hospital awaiting adoption, the nurses finally named me Sara.  I guess it was an easier way to identify me than “baby girl with red hair”.  When you name someone, it shows there is intimate knowledge — a relationship.

I was renamed Mary once I was adopted.  Mary Elizabeth to be exact.  My older brother would say I was named after baby Jesus’ mother, but the truth is I was named after my father’s mother, who he never knew himself.  Interesting to think that I was once nameless and yet named after someone no one even knew.

The name Mary actually means; bitter, beloved, rebellious, and wished-for child.  I know I have been one or more of those things at some time or another in my life.  But more important than what the dictionary says about my name, is that my naming marked the start of a new beginning in my life.  A new path.  A new journey.

We see this many times in Scripture. The Bible records many accounts of God assigning new names upon believers when they underwent life-changing spiritual transformations. Just like He did for Abraham and Sarah. When God changed Abram’s name to Abraham, it marked a new beginning in his life — a spiritual advancement, a growing faith.

As further affirmation of His promise to Abraham, God also changed the name of Abraham’s wife from Sarai, which means quarrelsome, to Sarah, meaning princess. 

“Then God said to Abraham, Regarding Sarai, your wife - her name will no longer be Sarai.  From now on her name will be Sarah.  And I will bless her and give you a son from her!  Yes I will bless her richly, and she will become the mother of many nations.  Kings of nations will be among her descendants.” 
Genesis 17:15-16 

The new names that God gave to Abraham and Sarah did not in itself change them. Rather, it reflected the change God was performing in them. It marked the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new life. Consider that Abraham was 99 years old when God gave him a new name, and Sarah was 90. If anyone’s life demonstrates that it’s never too late to change, it is the life of Abraham or Sarah.

As my husband often tells our house church, “if you’re not dead, God’s not done!”  And when God’s not done with you, He gives you a new name and a new purpose.

The name given by God is the name that will lead us to God's promises. God changed Abram's name to Abraham, Sarai's to Sarah, Jacob's to Israel, and Simon's to Peter. Through those names God gave new beginnings, new hopes, new blessings.  Much like when I received my new name after being adopted by my parents.

Each of the new names God has given, marked new beginnings and profound changes of character in the lives of the individuals who received them. Likewise, we experienced a transformational shift in our lives when we surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus. Although our names might not have been legally changed, Jesus dramatically redefined our lives when we chose to follow Him — and we are not the same people we used to be!

Consider these phrases pulled right from the pages of the Bible: Fearfully and wonderfully made, seen, known, loved, children of God, adopted, not forgotten, filled with the Spirit, full of Christ, united with Christ, chosen, accepted, loved, forgiven, not forsaken, reconciled, free from condemnation, a new creation, complete in Christ, holy, blameless, without a single fault, secure, heirs, free, no longer slaves, transformed, renewed, God’s special possession, salt, light, not your own, bought with a price, created in the image of God, raised with Christ, dead to sin, alive to God, part of the body, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, the bride of Christ, renamed.

Jesus gave up His name and identity for me. He became like me so that I might become like Him. When I think of this, I am reminded that there is no need for me to try to carve out a name for myself. Any identity I create for myself won’t last, only the identity God gives me will last into eternity.

“On that day I will gather you together and bring you home again. I will give you a good name, a name of distinction, among all the nations of the earth, as I restore your fortunes before their very eyes. I, the Lord, have spoken!” 
Zephaniah 3:20

God sees me, He knows me. He knows who I am and who I am meant to be — and that will be the basis for my new name that only He can give.  And for this, I will gladly “exchange” my name and my plans to be given a name He gives and the new purpose He has laid out for me in Jesus’ holy name!

Mary Swafford is the founder of Shaken & Stirred, Meals that Matter, Coffee Talk, and a Co-Owner of Boulder Coffee in downtown Sand Springs. She is a wife, a mother of 3 beautiful children, but most importantly a daughter of the most high God. You are likely to find her chugging or serving coffee, sitting in a tattooist’s chair, or making friends out of strangers.

Photo by Jared Subia on Unsplash

Shaken & Stirred: An Adoption Story

I was born somewhere in the state of Mississippi in May of 1975. I was 5 lbs. and 5 oz. with red hair and the nurses called me Sara. The end. This is all I know of my birth and the beginnings of my life.

Sometime later, I don’t know if it was weeks or months, I was adopted by a couple that had a 3 year old boy. The boy that became my brother had been adopted as an infant, just like me, and was not related to me or my parents by blood.

When I was little, I didn’t understand adoption. I didn’t understand why the woman who carried me in her belly didn’t want me. My mom made me read a book about adoption and how, according to the book, I was special because my mom and dad got to pick me. It made it seem as if everyone else born into a family is just the luck of the draw, but somehow adoption was supposed to make me special. Instead of feeling special, I felt ugly and unwanted. I didn’t have a good relationship with my mom. I felt like I could never please her or measure up to what she thought I was supposed to be.

Jeremiah 1:5 says:

“Before I made you in your mother’s womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work.”

When I became pregnant with my first child, I was in awe of how God created us to carry and sustain life inside of us. I found myself thinking more and more about the woman that carried me in her belly. I wasn’t thinking about how she didn’t want me anymore. Instead I was thinking about how very much she must have loved me. She carried me in her growing belly, feeling all of my kicks and nudges. In fact, I began to believe that she loved me so much that she chose to go through all of that, so that I could have life! There is no greater unconditional, sacrificial love.

Here’s the kicker though…I also know a Father. A Father that had a son. He gave that son up too. Not because He didn’t love his son, but because He loved me and He loved you, so very much that He wanted to give us life! He chose to go through death on a cross so that we could have life eternal with Him. There is no greater unconditional, sacrificial love.

God is that Father and that day on the alter when I was 8 years old, He adopted me into His family. Not because I had pleased Him or was anywhere near what He created me to be, but because He made me and chose me for a special purpose. He shook me that day and He shakes me still.

The blood of Jesus makes it possible for you to be adopted into God’s family. In fact, adoption through Jesus is the only way into His family. Turns out, my mom was right. Adoption does make me special.

Being shaken by God is the beginning of my life story and I’m constantly stirred to seek Him more. To know Him more. To love Him more. Shaken & Stirred is my adoption story.

I pray that it will be yours as well.

Mary Swafford is the founder of Shaken & Stirred, Meals that Matter, Coffee Talk, and a Co-Owner of Boulder Coffee in downtown Sand Springs. She is a wife, a mother of 3 beautiful children, but most importantly a daughter of the most high God. You are likely to find her chugging or serving coffee, sitting in a tattooist’s chair, or making friends out of strangers.