Good morning! This week we are looking at Colossians 3:18 through 4:1 and discussing the question: What examples are there to follow or commands to obey?
There are tons of “How To” books out there. They range in topics, anything from: “How to have a perfect dog in 7 easy steps”, “how to cope with grief”, to “how to take a vacation at home”. I even came upon a book entitled Training your Wife to be Submissive (check out this link to check out the cover). This book was written in (wait for it….) 2020. If you’re like most women, this makes you angry, and you want to raise your voice and tell your opinion of this ridiculous topic. How could a man have the audacity to write a book like this?! But, isn’t this exactly what Paul wrote we as wives are supposed to do in Colossians 3:18?
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
What exactly does that mean?
This word “submit” which means to accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person, has bothered many women over the years, especially in the 21st Century where women want to be seen as equal to or sometimes better than their husbands, or men in general. God didn’t put man on earth to rule over women, but He did create them to be the protector and provider for the family.
Let’s look at this in a different light. I am an English teacher, and on the first day of school for 25 years now, I have introduced myself, my plan for the year (my syllabus), and my class rules. The most important of these rules has always been, “Respect me, and I will respect you in return.” Merriam Webster defines “respect” as: “giving high or special regard to someone.”
Respect in your relationships builds feelings of trust, safety, and wellbeing. Because I respect my students, they respect me in return, and I rarely have any discipline issues in my classroom. I feel like the word “submit” evokes negative feelings, but if we substitute the word “respect” in verse 18 and the verses that follow, I feel like it is easier to understand what Paul was trying to say.
“Wives, [respect] your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love and [respect] your wives; do not be harsh with them.
Children, [respect] your parents, for this pleases the Lord.
Fathers, [respect] your children, so they don’t become discouraged.”
Servants, [respect] your masters (or employees respect your bosses). Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord (showing respect to the Lord), not for human masters. Masters [respect] your servants (employers respect your employees). Remember that you also have a master in Heaven.”
In these verses, there are commands for each member of the family, including the servants. Paul wrote “how to” books to the Romans, Ephesians, Colossians, Thessalonians, Galatians, and Corinthians. Paul was trying to show them, and us, how to please the Lord in whatever role we play in the family. There is no such thing as the perfect family; we all occasionally struggle with our role in life, but instead of buying a “How to” book on what we can or should do to make our lives better, grab a copy of God’s word and see what He instructs us to do. Hebrews 4:12 tells us that:
“the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
It is not an archaic book that only pertains to the people who were alive when it was written. We can learn so much from it that will help us become the best at whatever our role is in life.
I believe as women of God, we choose to submit to (or respect) our husbands because we love them, not because we have to, and in turn our husbands love and respect us. This was God’s plan all along. Have an amazing week my friends!
Chelynn is a contributing writer for Shaken and Stirred. She is a long-time daughter of Christ, a wife, mother of two amazing adult children, and Nonnie to four beautiful grandchildren. She teaches Senior English at Charles Page High School and is also a Realtor for Keller Williams. She enjoys all things summer including boating, vacationing, and swimming.
Photo by Marc A. Sporys on Unsplash